CRUSH =.=

Crushing on somebody is different from loving someone. Of course, everyone knows that. But what's the difference? Sometimes we mistake a crush as love or love as a simple crush. What really keeps them apart? How do you know that you like that person so much that you love them, or you like that person as a friend to much, but isn't more than that? Everyone has their own stories to tell. And I just wanna share my experiences to help you realize what a CRUSH and LOVE is.

HIHI. 

They say all the drama in your life starts in High-School. Everything would be your first time. But for me it's kinda true. It started out as a small crush, on the boy who always being there for me when I was down. Nobody noticed, except him. I admired him since then, and was contented by keeping it to myself. At first it wasn't that serious, and in time, it faded away. I thought it was end for him and I will never like him again after getting over my infatuation. He was exactly cute, he's a very good person too. But he's being with a wrong girl. Is this a CRUSH?

But then again, I didn't have to get to know him more. We weren't close, in the literal and implied sense of it.

My last year in highschool came. It was all casual at first, but when HE to remember me in this one social network everything changed. When one day, I almost accidentally blurted out my little crush on him before. Thank god it didn't happen. His reaction was beyond surprising.  I realized he was much more than the person I thought him to be. He was actually sweet, funny, and it never gets boring when you're with him. I also saw what his bad traits are, like his hot temper, but nonetheless accepted it willingly. It's part of him, and nobody's perfect.

The 'old crush feeling' was revived as I rejoiced in its birth. I was contented seeing him in good shape, never asking that he'd reciprocate my crush on him. After all, he don't know that I had a crush on him. And people change.

A little voice in me started asking for him to return my feelings I have for him. He was in my mind all day, that sometimes I would space out, thinking of him. And I'd look forward to each day, looking forward to see his text appear on my phone screen. I was confused at first, if this was still a crush or is it love. I didn't really know when or how it started, but the feeling was overwhelming me and I just found myself succumbing to love. 

I wanted to wait till I'd be ready for relationships. I assured myself, "Love can wait."

I'm grateful to God because when I asked for a true friend, he gave me more. He gave me HIM, he gave me LOVE. Yet, I still don't know if anything of these are true.

But why am I telling you all this? Maybe you're thinking, "Who the hell cares about your love story? The ending is so predictable, you'd fall in love with each other and you'll live happily ever after! And mine? Hell no!

And now, he come again giving me something that I don't really know and understand.

That's when I realized few things: First, Promises become lies when they're broken. The lie becomes the truth behind the promise. 

Second, Puppy/First Love never lasts, and it CAN'T wait. Only true love can , When you like somebody, you don't expect for anything in return. You're contented as you are, until you will forget it.

And lastly, when you love, no matter how slim the chances are, you will wait for that someone to love you back. For the first time, or the second time. In vain, or in great hope. And you will never forget it. You will wait. I would wait.

Even if it takes forever.