It's not my wish :'(

I met you. Seriously it's the best thing in my life even sometimes I think iT is not. But deep inside I know I can deny it. Looking at you and bump into you is more than enough for me to stay quiet. I know how hard I try, thing's not gonna be happen again right? So, I guess the best way is to forget the past and carry on with my life. You taught me a lot about life. But your action was so unexpected. 

Sunshine that shined our day had change itself when we're not longer to be meant together. Don't you think we're not meant to be? YOU? Seriously I miss our old days. I still kept an album of or pictures and a diary of our journey. Every single thing that we did I wrote just to make sure I don't forget our wonderful moments. I even wrote how many times you said that you love me in a day. It will always be more than 5 times :) 


Remembering my past might be hurt, but remembering about you is the best thing that I can do and will always do. Everytime, before I'm off to bed, I willl take a look at those pictures just to dream about you. I know that I'm so ungrateful. I don't appreciate you at all. But now I regretted it so freaking much.


I can stop myself from comparing you with the new comers. Before it my be Aiman, but now I can't compare him withothers because he isn't good enough for me. It's not being fake, but this is what came to my mine. Like seriously I was so happy at the time you texted me. But I can't treat you well because of our bittersweet memory. 


Few weeks back, you asked me why I broke up wih the form six student right? And I said that we can't suit each other. You? I lied to you. I don't mean it. I wish I could tell you the truth. It's because he's not like you. He can't understand me like you do. He can't accept me like you do and the worse part is he's not like you. I kept on pretending like I've no problems with guys, but actually yes. It's all because of you. I kept on comparing them. 


p / s - If you read this, please pretend like you didn't know anything. I'm not ready yet to face you and until now I still can't look straight into your eyes because of what I did. I know that you're going to forgive me, but please don't show it to me. Don't let me know that you hate me even I,myself already knew actually. 

I MISS THIS A LOT :'(

I wish I can spam you like I did in facebook. Looking you with others make me cry. Macam ak percaya kan? Me too. Kenapa I tak macam ni masa dulu kan? I'm wondering it too -,-"